I understand the feeling of a person who really need friends. You will know I really don't have friends and I don't need any as my time is fully occupied. But I did make everyone in the class as my family. Yan Hui and Vivian, they are always cheerful like sunshine. But appreciate and respect everything around you is really important.
29.07.2009 Monday @ Saito College
The class was started half an hour earlier. After having my breakfast, i rushed to the class and had my seat and ready to concentrate my studies. There was an empty seat beside on my left and next to the empty seat was Chester. Before the class started, I informed Yan Hui that the seat was reserved to Chee Sum as the class seems fully occupied and I'm sure he will be late as he is coming by bus and train.
When the class ended, assignment was given by Mr James. I started to write down the name and group as usual. After writing my name, I automatically wrote Chee Sum's name. "Oihh, I'm not in your group, I 'll be joining Albert and Teddy's group" he claimed. I was so dipressed. He had his group and how about me? I mean it's leaving without concern if I'm fine or do I have a group? A decision made last minute and just left. <>
Everything , anything and all the while, I'll always concern and make sure he is doing great and in good condition. In any circumstances, i will definitely help him if he gets in trouble. Chester and Ray who supposingly to be in group with me withdraw last minute because of "inconvenient" to being a group with me. " and this i called selfish"
I get into the worst mood of the day in Saito and be alone.
Maybe you will hate me one day..but it's fine. I can live alone and I used to it. Do I really love this class? Yes,but the feeling is started to fade.
30.7.2009 Wednesday @ Saito College
I'm late to technical drawing class. Chee Sum who supposed sit beside me changed he seat beside Shawn and he left me again.This was really sad. He only care his feeling not being disturbed. Although I'm not the one who did wrong, but I still talk to him and msg him first politely and in a friendly way. Maybe I am wrong , "I'm sorry" but if that really happens, why can't just let it go. Forgiving is not a matter of age. A little boy who being caned by mother, will walk to his mother after an hour and forgive everything. Is that really a matter of age? If that really his reason, this friendship doesnt cost a cent.
Chester and Ah Siang..don't worry. I'm fine now.
Miss Grace walked into the class and request for separation. This time I keep quiet and sealed my mouth. I want to stop doing everything and anything. I want you guys to think "How many of you in the class just care about your own feeling? How many of you really care others? How many of you can stop acting like you are one who are right all time? How many of you can stop saying that I can't make it? How many of you can spend more time with our own mate?
I WANT EVERYONE OF YOU LISTEN, I HAVE TRY MY BEST TO DO EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU, "MY TIME, MY STORY, MY KNOWLEDGE, THE RISK OF PROTECTING THE CLASS"
WHAT YOU GUYS AND GALS HAD DONE ? WHAT YOU GUYS HAD DONE IS
ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO HATE PEOPLE,
ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO GET ANGRY,
ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO WIN OTHERS,
ALWAYS THINK OF YOUR OWN FEELING
ALWAYS THINK THEY WAY YOU DO AND PAY BACK IS CORRECT
ALWAYS NOT RESPECT OTHERS
ALWAYS KEEP QUIET AND LET IT BE AND DONT CARE ( this is all of you do )
IF I CAN SACRIFY WHAT I CAN'T FOR THE SAKE OF ALL OF YOU ,
WHY CANT YOU GUYS DO SOMETHING TO CURE THE SITUATION?
WHY CANT YOU GUYS TRY YOUR BEST FOR OTHERS ?
I WON'T FORCE, BUT I HOPE ALL OF YOU U/STAND WHAT I MEAN.
I'm tired of everything. If this goes on.. sorry guys and gals. Please forgive me. The responsibility on my shoulder now are too heavy. I will just sit and stop being busy body. But I still love you all.
